Wednesday, March 28, 2007

How To Forgive


How To Forgive

One day a while back, a man, his heart heavy with grief, was walking in the woods. As he thought about his life this day, he knew many things were not right. He thought about those who had lied about him back when he had a job.

His thoughts turned to those who had stolen his things and cheated him.

He remembered family that had passed on. His mind turned to the illness he had that no one could cure. His very soul was filled with anger, resentment and frustration.

Standing there this day, searching for answers he could not find, knowing all else had failed him, he knelt at the base of an old oak tree to seek the one he knew would always be there. And with tears in his eyes, he prayed:

"Lord- You have done wonderful things for me in this life. You have told me to do many things for you, and I happily obeyed. Today, you have told me to forgive. I am sad, Lord, because I cannot. I don't know how.
It is not fair Lord. I didn't deserve these wrongs that were done against me and I shouldn't have to forgive. As perfect as your way is Lord, this one thing I cannot do, for I don't know how to forgive. My anger is so deep Lord, I fear I may not hear you, but I pray that you teach me to do this one thing I cannot do - Teach me To Forgive."

As he knelt there in the quiet shade of that old oak tree, he felt something fall onto his shoulder. He opened his eyes. Out of the corner of one eye, he saw something red on his shirt.

He could not turn to see what it was because where the oak tree had been was a large square piece of wood in the ground. He raised his head and saw two feet held to the wood with a large spike through them

He raised his head more, and tears came to his eyes as he saw Jesus hanging on a cross. He saw spikes in His hands, a gash in His side, a torn and battered body, deep thorns sunk into His head. Finally he saw the suffering and pain on His precious face. As their eyes met, the man's tears turned to sobbing, and Jesus began to speak.

"Have you ever told a lie?" He asked?

The man answered - "yes, Lord."

"Have you ever been given too much change and kept it?"

The man answered - " yes. Lord." And the man sobbed more and more.

"Have you ever taken something from work that wasn't yours?" Jesus asked?

And the man answered - "yes, Lord."

"Have you ever sworn, using my Father's name in vain? "

The man, crying now, answered - "yes, Lord."

As Jesus asked many more times, "Have you ever"? The man's crying became uncontrollable, for he could only answer - "yes, Lord."

Then Jesus turned His head from one side to the other, and the man felt something fall on his other shoulder. He looked and saw that it was the blood of Jesus. When he looked back up, his eyes met those of Jesus, and there was a look of love the man had never seen or known before.
Jesus said, "I didn't deserve this either, but I forgive you."

It may be hard to see how you're going to get through something, but when you look back in life, you realize how true this statement is..

Read the following first line slowly and let it sink in.

If God brings you to it - He will bring you through it.

Lord I love You and I need You, come into my heart, today. For without You I can do nothing.

When Jesus died on the cross, he was thinking of you!

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Greg Laurie's Message About Contentment

The Key to Contentment

Now godliness with contentment is great gain.
1 Timothy 6:6


As you begin to know God's love and purpose for you, you can live a life that is unending—even overflowing. It is life as it was meant to be lived. This is exactly what David meant when he said, "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want" (Psalm 23:1).

Have you been able to say that? Have you been able to say, "Lord, if You want to give me more, fine. If you don't want to, fine. I shall not want, because I have found my contentment in You."

The apostle Paul found that contentment. He said he was content, regardless of his circumstances (see Philippians 4:11–12). But how many of us have thought, I would be content if I just had a little more money. . . . I would be content if I just got that promotion. . . . I would be content if I just got married. . . . We never quite reach that place of contentment, however. We are always looking for something just a little beyond what we have.

There are certain things that only God can give. And when you are in a relationship with Him in which you say, "The Lord is my Shepherd," you can say with David, "I shall not want."

In fact, only the person who has said, "The Lord is my Shepherd" can say, "I shall not want." Our contentment does not come from what we have. It comes from Whom we know. Hebrews 13:5 tells us, "Let your conduct be without covetousness; be content with such things as you have. For He Himself has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.' "

So when you get down to it, everything you need in life is found in a relationship with God.


Greg Laurie [Signature]

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Your Prayers Are Working For Dale!

Hi Friends:


Keep those prayers going because they are working. Dale came home for his first time since his bone marrow transplant surgery. If you would like to view Dale's daily progress please click here.

Please know that God is listening and wants our hearts in the right place... which means focusing on praising Him and worshipping Him (instead of worrying about our daily mundane and selfish needs). I pray that the Lord will use all of you in any way possible to spread His Love, Mercy & Grace (each and every day).

Your brother in Christ,

Brad

Monday, March 19, 2007

Day +31 and +32

Day + 31 - Labs wbc 2.84 ANC - 2087 Hgb - 8.8 Hct - 27.4 Plt - 36,000. The liver enzymes came down a little again. As long as the liver enzymes come back down even a little, the doctors are happy. The doctors had told us on Friday if the ANC remained above 1000 and his cyclosporine level on Saturday was therapeutic, then Dale could go home on Sunday 2/18. Well, it all fell into place so Sunday evening, Dale was discharged home!!! Last week Tuesday or Wednesday when they were starting to talk about a goal date to go home, Dale told me that he would be ready to go home on Sunday. I thought it was a long shot since everything had to turn out perfect for this to happen. I told him not to get his hopes up too high but he said Sunday would be the day and sure enough it was. He prayed every night and meditated after his prayers . He calls it "brightening his light" (something he learned from a friend at church) (the light refers to God's love) His faith in God remained strong through these past 6 weeks. He has a long ways to go but he is determined to get there. Dale , although home now is still in protective isolation for 100 days after the transplant. He has to wear a mask when he steps outside of the house. Danny and Derek both had caught a cold so they were at Grandma June's when Dale came home. He went straight to the sliding door where his dog, Eski usually sits. She looked at him and started barking. I guess she didn't recognize him with no hair. As soon as she heard Dale's voice ,she calmed down. He then went into his room and looked around. Danny and Derek eventually came home and Dale ran to greet them but keeping his distance for fear of catching their cold. If Dale develops a fever, we have to go back to UCLA. If he catches a cold, his counts could drop and it would be a set back for him. We have a new set of challenges but Dale slept peacefully in his own bed last night . I think we all slept well last night.
Day + 32 - What? No scrambled eggs and french toast for breakfast? Dale and I realized quickly this morning that breakfast would not be sitting on the table at 8:30 am. ( At UCLA, Dale's breakfast was brought in every morning at 8:30am) By the time Dale and I got up, Danny was gone, and Wade and Derek were almost out the door. We will have to get back into the early morning "rush around the house" routine again. The home health nurse visted today bringing supplies for his central line care. It is now my job to flush his lines with heparin and change the dressing everyday. I miss the nurses already. The nurses and staff at UCLA were really wonderful. We were very happy with everyone who took care of us. I have to say "us" because they took care of me too. Later in the day Dale took a break from his studies , put on a mask and sat outside on the bench on our porch. He said the chiily air was "refreshing". This evening we watched a couple of basketball games (recorded on DVD by one of the dads) that his team, the Pacers II, played a few weeks ago. He really enjoyed watching them play and win! At 10pm, he marched into the kitchen,took his 6 pills and went to bed. I think in one day Dale swallows 16 1/2 pills. I have trouble just taking my vitamins. We are so grateful Dale is home. Thank you all for helping Dale get through his hospital stay with your prayers and support. We ask for your continued prayers as he still faces a long journey ahead. God's Grace and Peace to you all.....

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Work Stress and Marriage

Work Stress and Marriage
By: Ken Canfield

Stress is contagious. In this age of high expectations and long work hours, it's easy for a man to bring his worries and frustrations home and spread them all over the household.

A dad might treat his family like his boss treats him, which can be very destructive. Or some men might start resenting their family responsibilities, and expect to just relax on the sofa when they get home. Of course, that's an insult to wives, since they have stresses of their own after a day corralling the kids or working somewhere else.

What can we do?

First, recognize the value of "decompression time." Take some time in the car?or in your first few minutes home?to adjust your frame of mind. Exercise, read the newspaper, shower, change clothes. After a few minutes alone, you can shift gears and be ready for family time.

Second, keep communicating?even about the stresses you're facing. It's easy for a wife to feel like she's going through the stressful work situation with her husband. But if she is informed about your work situation and she believes in the value of the work you're doing, that will be a positive factor. Communicating will help both of you stay aware of the stresses, and can make you both more forgiving when one of you is in a bad mood.

Third, realize that sometimes bigger steps are necessary. If you're stressed out or blaming your family for your tension, or if there's a growing distance between you and your wife, it may be time to start thinking about a job change. Have a heart-to-heart about your true values and priorities.

Looking for a less stressful, more flexible position may cause more stress for a while, but you know you're doing it for the right reasons. Even if the new position pays less, that's an adjustment that most families can make. And isn't your marriage worth it?

You know, there are a lot of divorced men and fathers right now?still working in high-stress jobs?who regret not making changes sooner to try to save their families.

Dad, don't let a stressful job slowly erode the foundations of your marriage and family. Take steps to protect it, starting today.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Americans get an 'F' in religion

Americans get an 'F' in religion

Sometimes dumb sounds cute: Sixty percent of Americans can't name five of the Ten Commandments, and 50% of high school seniors think Sodom and Gomorrah were married.

Stephen Prothero, chairman of the religion department at Boston University, isn't laughing. Americans' deep ignorance of world religions — their own, their neighbors' or the combatants in Iraq, Darfur or Kashmir — is dangerous, he says.

His new book, Religious Literacy: What Every American Needs to Know — and Doesn't, argues that everyone needs to grasp Bible basics, as well as the core beliefs, stories, symbols and heroes of other faiths.

Belief is not his business, says Prothero, who grew up Episcopalian and now says he's a spiritually "confused Christian." He says his argument is for empowered citizenship.

"More and more of our national and international questions are religiously inflected," he says, citing President Bush's speeches laden with biblical references and the furor when the first Muslim member of Congress chose to be sworn in with his right hand on Thomas Jefferson's Quran.

"If you think Sunni and Shia are the same because they're both Muslim, and you've been told Islam is about peace, you won't understand what's happening in Iraq. If you get into an argument about gay rights or capital punishment and someone claims to quote the Bible or the Quran, do you know it's so?

"If you want to be involved, you need to know what they're saying. We're doomed if we don't understand what motivates the beliefs and behaviors of the rest of the world. We can't outsource this to demagogues, pundits and preachers with a political agenda."

Scholars and theologians who agree with him say Americans' woeful level of religious illiteracy damages more than democracy.

"You're going to make assumptions about people out of ignorance, and they're going to make assumptions about you," says Philip Goff of the Center for the Study of Religion and American Culture at Indiana University in Indianapolis.

Goff cites a widely circulated claim on the Internet that the Quran foretold American intervention in the Middle East, based on a supposed passage "that simply isn't there. It's an entire argument for war based on religious ignorance."

"We're impoverished by ignorance," says the Rev. Joan Brown Campbell, former general secretary of the National Council of Churches. "You can't draw on the resources of faith if you only have an emotional understanding, not a sense of the texts and teachings."

But if people don't know Sodom and Gomorrah were two cities destroyed for their sinful ways, Campbell blames Sunday schools that "trivialized religious education. If we want people to have serious knowledge, we have to get serious about teaching our own faith."

Prothero's solution is to require middle-schoolers to take a course in world religions and high schoolers to take one on the Bible. Biblical knowledge also should be melded into history and literature courses where relevant. He wants all college undergrads to take at least one course in religious studies.

He calls for time-pressed adults to sample holy books and history texts. His book includes a 90-page dictionary of key words and concepts from Abraham to Zen. There's also a 15-question quiz — which his students fail every year.

But it's the controversial, though constitutional, push into schools that draws the most attention.

In theory, everyone favors children knowing more. The National Education Association handbook says religious instruction "in doctrines and practices belongs at home or religious institutions," while schools should teach world religions' history, heritage, diversity and influence.

Only 8% of public high schools offer an elective Bible course, according to a study in 2005 by the Bible Literacy Project, which promotes academic Bible study in public schools. The project is supported by Freedom Forum's First Amendment Center, a Washington, D.C., non-profit that promotes free speech.

The study surveyed 1,000 high schoolers and found that just 36% know Ramadan is the Islamic holy month; 17% said it was the Jewish day of atonement.

Goff says schools are not wholly to blame for religious illiteracy. "There are simply more groups, more players. Students didn't know Ramadan any better in 1965, but now there are as many Muslims as Jews in America. It's more important to know who's who."

Also today, "there is more emphasis on religious experience as a mark of true religion and less emphasis on doctrine and knowledge of the faith."

Still, it's the widely misunderstood 1963 decision by the U.S. Supreme Court that may have been the tipping point: It removed devotional Bible reading from the schools but spelled out that it should not have been removed from literature and history.

"The decision clearly states you can't be educated without it, but it scared schools so much they dropped it all," Goff says.

"Schools are terrified of this," says Joy Hakim, author of several U.S. history textbooks. She's in her 70s but remembers well as a Jewish child how she felt like an outsider in schools that pushed Christianity in the curriculum.

But she says the backlash went too far. "Now, you can't use biblical characters or narrative in anything. We've stopped teaching stories. We teach facts, and the characters are lost."

Religion, like the arts, has become an afterthought in an education climate driven by "the fixation on literacy and numeracy — math and reading," says Bob Schaeffer of the National Center for Fair & Open Testing, a group critical of the standards-based education movement. "If the ways schools, teachers, principals and superintendents are judged all depend on math and reading scores, that's what you're going to teach," he says.

Still, it's a tough tightrope to walk between those who say the Bible can be just another book, albeit a valuable one, and those who say it is inherently devotional.

The First Amendment Center also published a guide to "The Bible and the Public Schools," which praised a ninth-grade world religions course in Modesto, Calif., and cited a study finding students were able to learn about other faiths without altering their own beliefs. But it also said the class may not be easily replicated and required knowledgeable, unbiased teachers.

Leland Ryken, an English professor at evangelical Wheaton College in Wheaton, Ill., tested a 2006 textbook, The Bible and Its Influence, underwritten by the Bible Literacy Project. Ryken favors adding classes in the Bible and literature and social studies. But he cautions, "Religious literacy and world religions are not the same as the Bible as literature. It's a much more loaded subject, and I really question if high school students can get much knowledge beyond a sense of the importance of religion."

The Bible and Its Influence has been blasted by conservative Christians such as the Rev. John Hagee, pastor of the 18,000-member Cornerstone Church in San Antonio. Hagee calls it "a masterful work of deception, distortion and outright falsehoods" planting "concepts in the minds of children which are contrary to biblical teaching."

Hagee wrote to the Alabama legislature opposing adoption of the text, citing points such as discussion questions that could lead children away from a belief in God. Example: Asking students to ponder if Adam and Eve got "a fair deal as described in Genesis" would plant the seed that "since God is the author of the deal, God is unfair."

Hagee prefers the Bible itself as a textbook for Bible classes, used with a curriculum created by a group of conservative evangelicals, the National Council on Bible Curriculum in Public Schools, based in Greensboro, N.C. The council says its curriculum is being offered in more than 300 schools.

Sheila Weber, a spokeswoman for The Bible Literacy project, says their textbook has been revised in the second printing issued last month with the examples cited by Hagee removed. The teachers' edition was reissued in August. The first printing was approved by numerous Christian scholars and seminaries and is already in use in 82 school districts.

Mark Chancey, professor of religious studies at Southern Methodist University in Dallas, looked last year at how Texas public school districts taught Bible classes. His two studies, sponsored by the Texas Freedom Network, a civil liberties group, found only 25 of more than 1,000 districts offered such a class.

"And 22 of them, including several using the Greensboro group's curriculum, were clearly over the line," teaching Christianity as the norm, and the Bible as inspired by God, says Chancey. One teacher even showed students a proselytizing Power Point titled, "God's road map for your life" that was clearly unconstitutional, he says.

The controversies, costs and competing demands in the schools have prompted many to turn instead to character education.

But classes promoting pluralism and tolerance fail on the religious literacy front because they "reduce religion to morality," Prothero says, or they promote a call for universal compassion as if it were the only value that matters.

"We are not all on the same one path to the same one God," he says. "Religions aren't all saying the same thing. That's presumptuous and wrong. They start with different problems, solve the problems in different ways, and they have different goals."

Contributing: Greg Toppo



Prayers Please

Hi Friends:

I would like to ask all of my prayer warrior friends to keep some friends in prayer over the next few days and weeks.

First off, please pray for Cindy McMahon who is going through some thyroid cancer surgery tomorrow. She is a very dedicated mom with a husband and two kids. She is also a lady of very deep faith and a very active parent at her kids schools and at her church. She is truly a spiritual warrior in need of your prayers for restoring her to good health.

Secondly, I would like you to keep the family of my recently deceased car buddy Ken Stapel in your prayers. Ken passed away last week while waiting on the transplant list for a new liver. Unfortunately (for us), the Lord called him home. Ken struggled with a very hard life, but recently accepted Jesus Christ into his life as his Lord and Savior. Ken spent a large part of his last few months on this Earth studying scripture and spending time with family and friends sharing his faith. On one hand he had to give up his car hobby (because of his ill health), but also realized that he was exploring a whole new world opened up by his renewed faith in the Lord. In many ways he was like a bright eyed child who had just learned some new and exciting thing at school. Ken realized (after spending a lifetime trying to get control of his life and destiny) that the secret to his happiness and contentment was by relinquishing control to the Lord and letting Him guide him on his journey home.

Please also continue to pray for Dale Inouye. This young 4th grade warrior has shown the heart of a lion in his daily battle with cancer. He has most definitely kept the faith throughout this ordeal and never wavered. Through his ordeal, he has rallied many to register for the bone marrow donor program, donate blood and platelets and brought people to prayers that haven’t prayed in a long time. His personal ministry (and that of his family) is very evident in their blog which posts Dale’s daily journey:

http://inouyeboynumba3.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=2007-01-01T00%3A00%3A00-08%3A00&updated-max=2008-01-01T00%3A00%3A00-08%3A00&max-results=6

Dale is an incredible example for all of us to follow.

Lord, I ask you to keep your vigil over these families and friends as we lift them up to you in prayer. Let us first all bless you Lord for loving us with unconditional love (in spite of the things that we do each day with prideful behavior, that distances us from you). Thank you for letting Your Son Jesus come down to this selfish place to teach us the lessons and die for our inequities ; so that we carry your lessons in love, mercy, grace and forgiveness as we walk with You Lord.

Please watch over these individuals as they go through some difficult times. Let Your light fill each of their hearts so that they will not be afraid to hand it all over to You. Let us all realize that we are not in control and that we are passengers on Your vessel that we call Earth, that will carry us on our journey to Your kingdom of Heaven.

Be with the McMahon family as they worry about their wife mother and friend. Be with all of them and give Cindy the strength to emanate Your light as she enters her surgery. Guide the doctor’s hands so that she may be healed and her darkness removed and overflow with Your love. Let Cindy be a shining example for You so that she may find her personal ministry and purpose through these challenging times. Rally friends and loved ones around her to protect her and nourish her back to full health. Reveal to Cindy the friends that she never knew, who come to her assistance in challenging times and may You use them to deliver her the message that You want her to know.

Be with the family and friends of Ken Stapel be comforted in knowing that he is now with his mother and his brother Rick at Your side in the Kingdom. Let us all be thankful for the time that we had together and be happy that ken is with You and that he is no longer suffering from his health problems. Thank you for using us to help Ken’s journey be lined with love from friends and family who were able to see the peace that ken received when he accepted You lord and his savior.

May we all carry on Ken’s memory and legacy through our works and use our passions for cars spread to all whom we cross paths with so that we can share our blessings that go way beyond cars.

Finally Lord, may you continue to bless the Inouye family and bring clarity to the path that You have lit for them. Give Dale continued courage and strength to beat this burden that has been laid upon him. Make it his defining moment and a turning point; where he finds his true power and purpose here on Earth in serving you Lord.

May all of these people that we are praying for, follow Your lead on this journey and may You use them to spread your love, mercy & grace anyplace, anywhere and anytime. Let us all remember to praise You when we win and especially to praise You when we lose… because everything is for You and because of You! In Your Son’s most precious name Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.

Have a blessed week!

Your brother in Christ,

Brad

Dennis Prager's Marriage Test Part 2

If you're thinking of marrying...part II
By Dennis Prager
Tuesday, December 13, 2005

It is exceptionally difficult to find the right person to marry.

This is especially true for first marriages. That is why it is so important to think through your decision by asking and answering critical questions. In Part I, I offered five. Here are seven more:

6. What problems do the two of you now have? And what inner voice of doubt, if any, are you suppressing?

Here is a rule that is rarely broken: Whatever problems you have before the wedding day, you will have during your marriage. Do not think that marrying will solve any problem you have with the person. You therefore have three choices: Make peace with the problem, see if it can be solved before deciding to marry, or don't marry the person. It is imperative that you be ruthlessly honest with yourself. And that is very hard. Nothing in life is easier than denying problems when you are in love. That is why it is important to pay attention to inner doubts.

7. How often do you fight?

It may be normal for couples to fight (though the ratio of loving moments to fights must be high to sustain a loving relationship). But it is usually a bad sign if you are doing so with any frequency while dating. Presumably that should be the easiest time to get along -- no children together, no joint financial problems, and the excitement of a new person.

If you do fight, do you quickly make up? Does he/she fight fairly and hear your side? Has either of you said "I'm sorry" after a fight? And perhaps most important, do you fight over the same issue(s) with no resolution?

8. Do you share values?

Opposites attract in the very beginning. Likes stay together for the long term. The more you share, especially values, the better your chances of a good marriage. For example, if you think television watching is a form of self abuse and your prospective spouse loves watching for hours a day, you may have a big problem. Likewise if you have opposing political and social views to which you are passionately committed.

Love conquers all pre-maritally. Not post.

9. Do you miss the person when you are not together?

This even holds true for men. Yes, men are better at being distracted by work, sports, computer games, the opposite sex, and God knows what else, but it is not a good sign if you rarely miss her when not together. As for women, if you don't miss him, it is probably a really bad sign.

10. Is the person unhappy?

Having written a best-selling book on happiness and lectured on the subject on all seven continents, I am tempted write a book-length book explanation of just this question. Suffice it to say that the importance of marrying an essentially happy person cannot be exaggerated. If you are basically happy, do not think for a moment that you can make an unhappy person happy by marrying him or her. On the contrary, the ability of the unhappy to make the happy unhappy is far greater than the ability of the happy to make the unhappy happy.

11. How much of your love is dependent on the sex you are having?

The power of sex is so great that it often obscures problems of relating to one another. How much do you relate outside of bed? Do you love talking when you don't see, let alone touch, each other -- such as by phone or computer? The best way to ascertain the answer is to take a month off from all sexual contact and see how much you then enjoy each other.

12. What do people you respect think of the person you're considering marrying?

Young people are certain they know better than anyone else in the world what is good for them. So a lack of enthusiasm for the person you are considering for marriage on the part of family or friends may mean little or nothing. And sometimes family objections should mean little or nothing. But if objections come, let us say, from a parent you respect for reasons that are not easily dismissed, and if others you respect are unenthusiastic as well, you should take the objections seriously. You would do so regarding the purchase of a car, wouldn't you? Yet no car will affect your life nearly as much as your spouse.

Will honest answers to these 12 questions either help you marry well or avoid a marriage that can make your life miserable? There is an easy way to find out. Ask any married or divorced person who will open up to you whether these questions need to be answered. They are the experts. Not the never-married, like you, who usually know nothing about marriage.



Dennis Prager is a radio show host, contributing columnist for Townhall.com, and author of 4 books including Happiness Is a Serious Problem: A Human Nature Repair Manual.

Dennis Prager's Marriage Test Part 1

If you're thinking of marrying: Part I
By Dennis Prager
Tuesday, December 6, 2005

Decades of radio counseling, personal experience, and public and private discussions about marriage prompt me to write this list of questions for anyone contemplating marriage.

1. Is the person your best friend or at least becoming so?

It is easy to find a lover. It is easy to get excited about a new person. But if you cannot say that the person you are considering marrying has become or is becoming your best friend, you need to figure out why before you decide to marry. This is probably the single most overlooked question among couples, especially young ones.

And for good reason. Many people cannot not answer this in the affirmative. But you have to answer it. Over time, friendship is the greatest bond between a couple. If the person you marry does not become your best friend, you will either seek someone who will be or simply drift apart.

What is a best friend? Someone you can and do tell just about everything to. Someone you want to be with as much as possible. And someone you need. One of the most devastating ideas of the last generation was that needing or depending upon another person is a sign of weakness. The opposite is true. The inability to need is a sign of weakness -- you are afraid to relinquish power or afraid to be hurt.

2. Aside from sex, do you enjoy each other?

As great as the sex may be (and great sex certainly adds to a marriage), even Hugh Hefner spends the vast majority of time doing other things. You must enjoy this person during those hours. This sounds trite, but enjoying each other may actually be the single most important characteristic of a happy marriage.

3. Is there chemistry between the two of you?

As essential as being best friends and enjoying each other are, there should be a physical component to your relationship. Dating for marriage is not an interview for a platonic best friend. Nearly always, a woman who dates a man who meets the criteria listed here can grow to find him sexually attractive. If that were not the case, the majority of men would never attract a woman. There are very few men who turn heads. Most men become physically attractive to a woman thanks to other, masculine, qualities that they possess.

Even for men it is common to find a woman physically attractive over time. In my late 20s, I directed a summer institute for men and women ages 19-25. After the first two summers, I began to play a game with myself. On the first night of the session, I made a mental note of which women I thought the most attractive and compared that list to one I made after the four weeks. The names on the latter list were rarely on the first-night list.

Nevertheless, if there is insufficient physical attraction after all other criteria are met and time has passed, you may be in the tragic position of having to end a relationship with a great man or woman.

4. Does the person have a number of good friends and at least one very close friend of the same sex?

It is a bad sign if the person you are thinking of marrying does not have good friends (including of long duration) of the same sex. Something is very wrong. This alone should rule out the person from consideration. A woman who cannot hold female friends and a man who cannot hold male friends have issues that will probably sink your marriage.

5. How does the person treat others?

It should go without saying that if the person is not kind to you, quit while you can. But it is far from sufficient that the person you are considering marrying treats you kindly. Watch how he or she treats waitresses, employees, family members and anyone else he/she comes into contact with. I promise you how the person treats others now is how this person will treat you later.

If these questions and the ones I will pose in Part II are answered honestly and help determine your decision, your chances of entering a happy marriage or avoiding an unhappy one are dramatically increased.

Good luck.

You'll need that, too.



Dennis Prager is a radio show host, contributing columnist for Townhall.com, and author of 4 books including Happiness Is a Serious Problem: A Human Nature Repair Manual.

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Tony Dungy- A True Man of Faith

DETROIT, Mich. - They were there for breakfast, and they were there to cheer New York Jets running back Curtis Martin. And it was Martin who received the Athletes in Action Bart Starr Award Saturday morning, but the hundreds who gathered in fourth-floor ballroom at the Marriott Renaissance in Detroit, Mich., on the morning before Super Bowl XL were clearly touched by the featured speaker.

That speaker was Colts Head Coach Tony Dungy.

Two hours into the breakfast, emcee Brent Jones introduced Dungy, who was welcomed with a lengthy standing ovation. Dungy thanked the crowd, shared an anecdote about Martin, then told the crowd he was going to speak for about 15 minutes.

"It's great to be here," Dungy told the crowd, then adding with a laugh, "I just wish I wasn't here in this capacity so many times of being just that close to being in the game and just being an invited speaker.

"My goal is to have our team here one day and have a couple of tables with all of our guys here. Because we have a special group of young men, a great group of Christian guys. It'd be wonderful to have them here so you could see their hearts and what they're all about.

"It h hasn’t quite happened yet, but we're still hoping one day it will."

He told them he was going to talk about lessons he had learned from his three sons. The crowd fell silent. Then Dungy spoke.

And although this was a breakfast - and although at many such events speakers speak over the clinking of glasses and murmurs from semi-interested listeners - for most of the 15 minutes the room was silent except for Dungy's voice.

He spoke of his middle son, Eric, who he said shares his
Competitiveness and who is focused on sports "to where it's almost a problem." He spoke of his youngest son, Jordan, who has a rare congenital condition which causes him not to feel pain.

"He feels things, but he doesn't get the sensation of pain," Dungy said. The lessons learned from Jordan, Tony Dungy said, are many.

"That sounds like its good at the beginning, but I promise you it's not," Dungy said. "We've learned a lot about pain in the last five years we've had Jordan. We've learned some hurts are really necessary for kids. Pain is necessary for kids to find out the difference between what's good and what's harmful."

Jordan, Dungy said, loves cookies.

"Cookies are good," Dungy said, "but in Jordan's mind, if they're good out on the plate, they're even better in the oven. He will go right in the oven when my wife's not looking, reach in, take the rack out, take the pan out, burn his hands and eat the cookies and burn his tongue and never feel it. He doesn't know that's bad for him."

Jordan, Dungy said, "has no fear of anything, so we constantly have to watch him."

The lesson learned, Dungy said, is simple.

"You get the question all the time, 'Why does the Lord allow pain in your life? Why do b ad things happen to good people? I f God is a God of love, why does he allow these hurtful things to happen?''' Dungy said.
"We've learned that a lot of times because of that pain, that little temporary pain, you learn what's harmful. You learn to fear the right things.

"Pain sometimes lets us know we have a condition that needs to be healed. Pain inside sometimes lets us know that spiritually we're not quite right and we need to be healed and that God will send that healing agent right to the spot.

"Sometimes, pain is the only way that will turn us as kids back to the Father."

Finally, he spoke of James.

James Dungy, Tony Dungy's oldest son, died three day s before Christmas. As he did while delivering James' eulogy in December, Dungy on Saturday spoke of him eloquently and steadily, speaking of lessons learned and of the positives taken from experience.

"It was tough, and it was very, very painful, but as painful as it was, there were some good things that came out of it," Dungy said.

Dungy spoke at the funeral of regretting not hugging James the last time he saw him, on Thanksgiving of last year. "I met a guy the next day after the funeral," Dungy said. "He said, 'I was there. I heard you talking. I took off work today. I called my son. I told him I was taking him to the movies. We're going to spend some time and go to dinner.' That was a real, real blessing to me."

Dungy said he has gotten many letters since James' death relaying similar messages.

"People heard what I said and said, 'Hey, you brought me a little closer to my son,' or, 'you brought me a little closer to my daughter,''' Dungy said.”That is a tremendous blessing."

Dungy also said some of James' organs were donated through donors programs.

"We got a letter back two weeks ago that two people had received his corneas, and now they can see,'' Dungy said. "That's been a tremendous blessing."

Dungy also said he received a letter from a girl from the family's church in Tampa. She had known James for many years, Dungy said. She went to the funeral because she knew James.

"When I saw what happened at funeral, and your family and the celebration and how it was handled, that was the first time I realized there had to be a God," Dungy said the girl wrote. "I accepted Christ into my life and my life's been different since that day."

Added Dungy, "That was an awesome blessing, so all of those things kind of made me realize what God's love is all about."

Dungy also said he was asked often how he was able to return to the Colts so quickly after James' death. James died on December 22, and Dungy re turned to the team one week later. Dungy said the answer was simple.

"People asked me, 'How did you recover so quickly?"'' Dungy said. "I'm not totally recovered. I don't know that I ever will be. It's still very, very painful, but I was able to come back because of something one of my good Christian friends said to me after the funeral.

"He said, 'You know James accepted Christ into his heart, so you know he's in heaven, right?' I said, 'Right, I know that.' He said, 'So, with all you know about heaven, if you had the power to bring him back now, would you?' When I thought about it, I said, 'No, I wouldn't. I would not want him back with what I know about heaven.'

"That's what helped me through the grieving process. Because of Christ's spirit in me, I had that confidence that James is there, at peace with the Lord, and I have the peace of mind in the midst of something that's very, very painful.

"That's my prayer today, that everyone in this room would know the same thing."


Sunday, March 4, 2007

Strongest Dad in the World- Sports Illustrated

Hi Friends:

I want to bring this to your attention, because it is something that makes us ALL realize just how blessed we truly are. I first heard about Team Hoyt many years ago at Promise Keepers. This story never ceases to amaze me and bring tears to my eyes... because itis truly God's love that is shing through this father and son.

Please take a moment to read this and view the video... don't forget to get out your Kleenex box. I pray that this will touch your hearts.

Brad


Strongest Dad in the World

By Rick Reilly

I try to be a good father. Give my kids mulligans. Work nights to pay For their text messaging. Take them to swimsuit shoots.

But compared with Dick Hoyt, I suck.

Eighty-five times he's pushed his disabled son, Rick, 26.2 miles in Marathons. Eight times he's not only pushed him 26.2 miles in a Wheelchair but also towed him 2.4 miles in a dinghy while swimming and Pedaled him 112 miles in a seat on the handlebars--all in the same day.

Dick's also pulled him cross-country skiing, taken him on his back Mountain climbing and once hauled him across the U.S. On a bike. Makes Taking your son bowling look a little lame, right?

And what has Rick done for his father? Not much--except save his life.
This love story began in Winchester , Mass. , 43 years ago, when Rick Was strangled by the umbilical cord during birth, leaving him Brain-damaged and unable to control his limbs.

"He'll be a vegetable the rest of his life;'' Dick says doctors told him And his wife, Judy, when Rick was nine months old. ``Put him in an Institution.''

But the Hoyts weren't buying it. They noticed the way Rick's eyes Followed them around the room. When Rick was 11 they took him to the Engineering department at Tufts University and asked if there was Anything to help the boy communicate. ``No way,'' Dick says he was told. ``There's nothing going on in his brain.''

"Tell him a joke,'' Dick countered. They did. Rick laughed. Turns out a Lot was going on in his brain. Rigged up with a computer that allowed Him to control the cursor by touching a switch with the side of his Head, Rick was finally able to communicate. First words? ``Go Bruins!'' And after a high school classmate was paralyzed in an accident and the School organized a charity run for him, Rick pecked out, ``Dad, I want To do that.''

Yeah, right. How was Dick, a self-described ``porker'' who never ran More than a mile at a time, going to push his son five miles? Still, he Tried. ``Then it was me who was handicapped,'' Dick says. ``I was sore For two weeks.''

That day changed Rick's life. ``Dad,'' he typed, ``when we were running, It felt like I wasn't disabled anymore!''

And that sentence changed Dick's life. He became obsessed with giving Rick that feeling as often as he could. He got into such hard-belly Shape that he and Rick were ready to try the 1979 Boston Marathon.

``No way,'' Dick was told by a race official. The Hoyts weren't quite a Single runner, and they weren't quite a wheelchair competitor. For a few Years Dick and Rick just joined the massive field and ran anyway, then They found a way to get into the race Officially: In 1983 they ran another marathon so fast they made the Qualifying time for Boston the following year.

Then somebody said, ``Hey, Dick, why not a triathlon?''

How's a guy who never learned to swim and hadn't ridden a bike since he Was six going to haul his 110-pound kid through a triathlon? Still, Dick Tried.

Now they've done 212 triathlons, including four grueling 15-hour Ironmans in Hawaii . It must be a buzzkill to be a 25-year-old stud Getting passed by an old guy towing a grown man in a dinghy, don't you Think?

Hey, Dick, why not see how you'd do on your own? ``No way,'' he says. Dick does it purely for ``the awesome feeling'' he gets seeing Rick with A cantaloupe smile as they run, swim and ride together.

This year, at ages 65 and 43, Dick and Rick finished their 24th Boston Marathon, in 5,083rd place out of more than 20,000 starters. Their best Time? Two hours, 40 minutes in 1992--only 35 minutes off the world Record, which, in case you don't keep track of these things, happens to Be held by a guy who was not pushing another man in a wheelchair at the Time.

``No question about it,'' Rick types. ``My dad is the Father of the Century.''

And Dick got something else out of all this too. Two years ago he had a Mild heart attack during a race. Doctors found that one of his arteries Was 95% clogged. ``If you hadn't been in such great shape,'' One doctor told him, ``you probably would've died 15 years ago.'' So, in a way, Dick and Rick saved each other's life.

Rick, who has his own apartment (he gets home care) and works in Boston, and Dick, retired from the military and living in Holland, Mass. , always find ways to be together. They give speeches around the country and compete in some backbreaking race every weekend, including this Father's Day.

That night, Rick will buy his dad dinner, but the thing he really wants to give him is a gift he can never buy.

``The thing I'd most like,'' Rick types, ``is that my dad sit in the chair and I push him once.''

And the video is below....

Friday, March 2, 2007

Dale's Progress

Thanks to all of you who include Dale Inouye and his family in your prayers.

Click here to visit their blog and see his progress.

I pray that the Lord is guiding all of you in your personal ministries and filling you with daily blessings.

Brad